


Not queen material

by martascully



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Neew to this, bear with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-02 21:19:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martascully/pseuds/martascully
Summary: Pros and cons of attending a ball to celebrate the End of the Starscourge





	1. Not queen material

The anniversary of the End of the Starscourge was a big deal in Lucis. Heck, it was a big deal in all Eos. The festivities had lasted for two good months in which delegates of all parts of the world had come to Insomnia to pay their respects to the True King. Even the new Empress of Niflheim was present, invited as a symbol of good will and a new beginning.  
  
But all the good things come to an end and this celebration was no exception to the rule. Not that you had enjoyed the party. People also work. Correction: people like you also work. Even if they are “blue bloods”. Although for the amount of money your family has, middle class is more your background. Still, you belonged to the nobility. And for that same reason, your family had received an invitation, which was the main motive you were standing in the reception hall of the Citadel.  
  
In all honestly, you never wanted to attend. First of all, the event was happening on a Tuesday and after waking up at 6 am and working for 8 hours, the only thing you wanted to do was to go home, take off the goddamn bra and die on the couch. But the perspective of having an argument with your mother about you not taking advantage of the opportunity (“What opportunity, mother? Do you really think I’m queen material?”), convinced you to put on the best dress you could rent and go anyway. And make up? Not too elaborated. Astrals knew that nothing was ever going to fully hide the black holes under your eyes.  
  
So there you were, making small talk with a bunch of strangers while trying to not compare yourself and your outfit with other attendees. After two hours, the alcohol, the shoes and the boredom had become three important reasons you couldn’t ignore anymore, yet it was still early and you knew that leaving now will only mean trouble in the near future. Because even if you couldn’t see her, you knew your mother was watching you. And if not, not to worry, because she’d found out that you bailed out. She always found out.  
  
Luckily, you saw an opportunity to “disappear” in the form of a door to the gardens and, surreptitiously, you left the hall. Ah, fresh air at last. And a bench. You almost cried tears of joy when you sat and took your shoes off. You were sure you were going to regret it in the minute you had to put them on again, but still… it’s the small pleasures in life, isn’t it?  
  
You were so absorbed in the relief you poor feet were feeling that didn’t notice the figure seated next to you. And when he asked you if you were “enjoying the party”, you let out a shriek and the stranger laughed softly. Without even looking at him, you replied sarcastically a “haha, very funny” and were about to ask if he enjoyed “scaring the shit out of people in the dark”, when you finally raised your eyes up. Thank the Astrals you never got to say “shit”. Because next to you was sitting the King of Lucis.  
  
For the look he gave you, you were sure your face was screaming panic. So you mumbled an excuse, put your shoes again and attempted to leave, when his hand grabbed yours.  
  
“Please, don’t” he let go of your hand. “Don’t leave because of me”.>After the most awkward 30 seconds of your life, you took the seat again.  
“I am Noctis”, he introduced himself.  
  
“(Y/N)”, you replied, “It’s an honor, your Majesty”.  
  
“No need to be that formal” he smiled again. “You didn’t answer my question, though. Do you like the party?”  
  
You thought your answer twice, and the King definitely noticed.  
  
“That bad, eh?” he grimaced.  
  
“No!” you quickly added, “it’s not that, really “. You paused for a moment and said “Can I be honest?”  
  
He nodded and you continued: “I am not the most indicated person to answer that question, I’m afraid. I have a job and I’m too tired on weekdays too function properly once my hours are done”  
  
He groaned and raised his hands to his face. “I knew it was not a good idea to do this on a Tuesday but the council was adamant to it”.  
  
“Majesty… “  
  
“Please, call me Noctis”, he insisted.  
  
“Noctis… What’s the purpose of this party?“  
  
“To celebrate the end of the Starscourge” You raised an eyebrow and the picked up the message immediately. Blushing, he continued to explain in the shiest of tones: “The council insisted I should find a spouse soon, and they thought this was the right way… to make easier for me… well…” he hesitated “to meet single women of my age“.  
  
This was getting so awkward by the minute… You knew you were going to regret the next question.  
  
“And have you… meet someone, hum, that has grabbed your interest?“  
  
“I think I did. But you never know for sure“  
  
“That difficult?”  
  
“Have you ever played Dark Souls?”  
  
You nodded. “Well, that’s what I’m talking about”  
  
You laughed “So you like Dark Souls… It’s good to know that the King of Lucis is a masochist.”  
  
This time, Noctis laughed out loud and you couldn’t help but to join him. And just in that very moment, you were interrupted by one of the servants, informing the sovereign that it was time to “give his speech”.  
  
You both rose of your seat and you bowed to him, but just when you were going to leave, the King turned, grabbed your hand and kissed it.  
  
“It was a pleasure to meet you”, he winked at you.  
  
You stood there, in shock, trying to process what just had happened. When you came back into the hall you saw Noctis again, smiling, with a beautiful woman grabbing his arm and you couldn’t help but feeling a pang of jealousy in your stomach. Oh well, who cared anyway, you though, shooing away your feelings. After all, like you said to your mother, you weren’t queen material. 


	2. The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for leaving kudos. You guys are awesome

“Gods!! I just don’t understand how can you be so stubborn, Luna”  
  
You paled, eyes wide as saucers, forgot how to breathe. The color from his face has left, too, as the rage disappeared from his factions and sorrow filled his eyes.  
  
“Get out”, you murmured.  
  
“(Y/N)” he said while he tried to reach for you, “I’m so sorry, I’m…”  
  
“NOW!” you commanded.  
  
He waited for a short moment that seemed like an eternity, and, grabbing his jacket, he headed for the door. You turned, you couldn’t even looked at him. When he closed the door behind him, tears began to stream down your face. You cried yourself to sleep that night.  
  
—————————–  
  
There is a tiny fragment of a second in the mornings, just after waking up, when the world seems at peace, and everything is fine. Then, reality hits you and then you remember how Noctis had called you by Luna’s name in the middle of a heated argument. You didn’t wanted to wake up, but you had to do the effort anyway, because life goes on, and you are an adult with responsibilities. Luckily for you, it’s a weekend, so at least, you have a couple of days to compose yourself.  
  
You turned the phone on. 20 calls. 72 messages. All calls from Noctis as well as 25 of those messages. The rest, from your parents and friends. And he has left voices messages too, messages that you don’t have the will or desire to listen to. The phone starts ringing. It’s him. Again. Massaging your forehead, you just wait for the call to end and then answer the messages left by everyone else, while also explaining that you are disconnecting for the weekend. That you need to rest. That if they want something or anything urgent happens, they can call you at home. And then you turn off the phone.  
  
Fuck being an adult and fuck responsibilities, you’re going back to bed. As you lie down, you remember how strange your life has turned in the last months. From your regular working girl to the King’s girlfriend. Ugh, can you still call yourself that? Could you ever call yourself that? It was never that serious, no one ever had said that word, he never introduced you as such, and when you were talking to your friends, you never called him your boyfriend. Looking at things with perspective, it almost seemed like you were hiding from the world. Far from it, though. He had met your friends and you have met his. PDA was not a thing because neither of you felt comfortable with it. Nomenclature didn’t matter, you said back then. Maybe it did, after all.  
  
You couldn’t help but remember how you met at the ball, when you sneaked out to the gardens and he was just sitting there, hiding from all his guests. It had been nice, and you had tried not to think much of it, to no avail. And so, two weeks had gone, with you replaying the conversation over and over again in your head (“Did you actually call him a masochist, really?”). At some point you even allowed yourself to daydream of him. That somehow you will meet again and discover you were soulmates, magically. But that was it, silly thoughts.  
  
And then, one Friday night, your phone rang and the screen showed an unknown number. When you picked up, a familiar masculine voice asked for you, awkwardly. It was him. Somehow, he had find out your full name and had gotten your number. And he was asking if you would like to go to dinner with him. Your brain had gone in total lockdown at that question, and only when he wondered if you were still there, you had managed to say yes. How, to your surprise, the date had gone relatively well and he had asked for a second date. And for a third one. A fourth one. Your mind drifted to the first night you had spent together. Before you knew it, you were dating the King. And you were as happy as you could be.  
  
But that didn’t matter anymore, you thought drying a tear with your hand. He never loved you, the insidious voices whispered in your head, you just were a distraction. Someone to make him forget.  
  
Not only you were drowning in a sea of self-doubt, giving yourself a thousand reasons on why he would never truly love you, now you had to fight the ghost of a dead woman that by all accounts had been far more beautiful and far better person that you could ever dream to be. If at least she had been a “Rebecca”, as in the evil, murderous dead wife from the movie, you could sort of deal with that, but the presence of Lady Lunafreya extended far and beyond, even if she had passed more than ten years ago.  
  
That was someone, something, you couldn’t compete with. You just couldn’t. Maybe it was time to let Noctis go. Maybe it was time to tell him to go look for a real queen. Maybe it was time to say goodbye.  



	3. A thousand times yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super thanks to [Oreana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oreana) for beta reading for me and offer her suggestions. Also, thanks to everyone that left kudos :)

Saturday passed numbly, as you were trying to compose yourself while watching old tv shows, movies and eating junk food. As much as you wanted to rest, sleep turn out to be fickle mistress and it wasn’t until 3 in the morning where you finally went to bed and fell into Morpheus’ arms. After waking up at 1 pm, you decided to turn on your phone again. Amidst some message of your friends asking how you were doing, there were a couple from Noctis, who had stopped calling you sometime after noon yesterday. You inhaled deeply and decided to read the messages. A long line of apologies and excuses trying to explain what happened, as well as some “try to understand” that made you scoff every time you read them. The last one, though, was painful: “I know I fucked up. I’m sorry. I love you, even if you don’t love me anymore”. Tears clouded your vision again but you stopped them before they started to roll down your cheeks. Putting your phone down, you finished your coffee and headed for the bathroom when someone knocked on your door. 

Cursing between your teeth you peered through the peephole and your heart started to race. Noctis was at your door. Doubts filled your head but before you could control yourself, you were opening the door, meeting his sad blue gaze.

“Hey”, he gulped. “You didn’t answer my messages and was starting to g…”

“What do you want?” you interrupted him, your voice filled with annoyance.

“I just want to talk, that’s all”, he sheepishly answered.

You were about to reply that you “were talking” but then you remembered the nosy old crone living in the apartment next door and decided that having a discussion with the King about such sensitive topic in the middle of the common corridor wasn’t to make things easier, and you left Noctis entered your home.

You took a better look at him. He looked sad. No, he looked devastated. The light in his eyes was almost gone and they looked red, as if he had spent the last day crying. He probably didn’t sleep either. You almost felt sorry for him, but resentment took the better part of you and hardening your expression, you asked him rudely what was he doing there.

“I…” he attempted to explain himself, not even looking at you. After the pause got too long, you scoffed again and crossing your arms you urged him to tell you something more elaborate. “Well?”

He looked you in the eyes then. “I’m sorry. I don’t have any excuse”, he began. “I would like to have one, but I don’t”. You exhaled, closing your eyes, and he continued. “The anniversary of her death is getting close, and the government of Tenebrae is urging me to do something for her memory, to honor the last Oracle”, his voice trembled. “This time is special for many reasons, and my head has been filled with memories of her lately. I’m not going to deny I loved her”. 

You took away your gaze from him, you couldn’t look at him in the eyes, or you will start to cry again, something that you didn’t want to do in front of him in a million years.

“Look at me, Y/N”, he pleaded softly. “Please, look at me”, he insisted and you opened your eyes. “That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, because I do, with every fiber of my being”, the King added. “You have rescued me from the depths of the despair that it’s been haunting me since she died”, he said, draining the tears that started to fall from your eyes. “Please, believe me when I say I love you and that you make me happy. I wish no other by my side”. He got close and rested his forehead in yours. “I’ll make it official, if that’s what you wish”. Raising his head again, he locked his eyes on yours. “I just want you to be happy”, he declared. “If you don’t want me anymore I will leave and I won’t bothered ever again, I promise”, he added, with fear in his eyes. 

You broke down in sobs and he pressed your head against his chest. He hold you in silence until you stopped crying and were able to put your thoughts in order. “I love you, Noctis, I really do”, you could hear him breathing, relieved. “But I don’t think I’m the right choice for you”, you stated. “I know I’m not exactly a lady and I know the council doesn’t approve of me”, you sobbed. “You need someone that can fulfill the role just as Lunafreya would have done and I can’t fill those shoes”.

Taking your head in his hands again, the King spoke “I don’t want perfection and I don’t care if the council approves”, there was a contained rage in his voice. “I need a companion of life, and no one understands me the way you do, I can’t trust any other person the way I trust you”. His voice broke and tears showed in his eyes. “I know that if this doesn’t work with you it won’t work with anyone else”.

“Don’t be silly”, you argued with him, “There are plenty of candidates better than me.”

“Don’t you listen, Y/N?” he insisted. “I don’t want them—I want you. There’s no one else”. He looked with desperation in your eyes. ‘’I want you to be my queen”. He kneeled in front of you, grabbing your hand. “Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Time stopped and you forgot to breathe for a moment, only to burst into tears again. But this time the most radiant smile showed on your face. “Yes”, you finally said, kneeling in front of him and kissing him. “A thousand times yes”.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and leaving kudos :)

Painting the ceiling again seemed like a good idea, you thought while laying in the bed and caressing your pregnant belly, when your husband came out of the bathroom, interrupting your thinking. You raised your hands and started to move them, signaling him to assist you to sit up. It was not that you could not do it anymore, it was just easier that way. With a chuckle, he grabbed your hands and helped you up. As soon as you saw his face, you frowned and your smiled disappeared.

“What is that?” you asked him, drawing circles in the air around the lower part of your face. Noctis looked puzzled and attempted to answer your question but you were faster than him. “You shaved!” you almost growled. “How dare you to shave?” you inquired, raising your tone of voice.

The King stroked his face and, with confusion in his eyes, he began to explain. “Well, the Accordo delegation is visiting and Ignis thought…”

“Ignis!” you exclaimed, getting angrier by the minute. “Are you married to Ignis? Well, maybe in a sense”, you conceded, just to quickly adding “But I am your WIFE, at least you could have consulted me before doing…”, you pointed to his face “ _THAT_ ”.

Noctis attempted to finish the argument, worrying that it was too much agitation for you. “You are getting a bit too excited by all this situat…” he started, but it only made your fury worse. “Choose very carefully your next words, Majesty”, you said narrowing your eyes, “they can…” You never got to finish your threat, as you let out a cry when you felt a sharp pain. Noctis panicked and rushed to you, your waters breaking in that very moment. “I’m calling Ignis”, he announced, and you snapped. “Oh yes, call him, please…” you said with mockery in your voice. Mockery that turn into worry mixed with agony when you felt the same ache again. “Tell him to hurry up”, you pleaded to the King.

\------------

“I forgive you”, you said to a very tired but happy monarch eight hour later while holding the new Princess of Lucis in your arms. “And I love you”, you assured him with a smile. “Beard or not”.


End file.
